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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (8908)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

#20431369
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (8389)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (6153)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

#20430536
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (7083)

On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (3205)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (3551)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (3557)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)



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