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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (4447)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (2974)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33882) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (11259)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (2342)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (2740)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (3632)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (3399)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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