Miscellaneous: Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna...

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 744

You deserved it 2 727

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Same thing different taste

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 8 183

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 831

You deserved it 5 199

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 319

You deserved it 4 540

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 3 004

By Username - 23/11/2010 20:53

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 2 474

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 6 852

Stalker vibes

By liz - 21/05/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 52 445

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 638

You deserved it 5 543

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 537

You deserved it 3 293

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 3 795

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

Comments

gintwinsmoore 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

okay...so what did you say?

laurenswims13 24

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:32

Look at the name of who posted it #1

tantanpanda 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:47

OP only likes modern things :)

gintwinsmoore 20

Wednesday 1 April 2015 5:26

yes thanks guys...I keep forgetting to look at the names that are posted on these FMLs. didn't realize there are so many rules to making comments here!

leafeon523 20

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:18

If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

pimpmilk69 18

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

I think it's his dick...

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:22

You don't say...

CurlyQute 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 4:47

Well no shit.

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 7:00

No, it's antique wormwood.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

"It has that unique patina that indicates true age and quality."

Ichiya 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:14

American Peckers*

CJB3228 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 4:55

Or pawn stars. **** stars?

jat_fml 3

Tuesday 31 March 2015 15:14

awwe now im gonna try that very same lines here ahahahahaaa

Khaleesi_26 30

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

Well, did you?!?

hacksaw246 24

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:25

Don't you think that comment is sort of antiqued by now?

noelsom7 13

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

Was he creepy or one of those cute old men?

Khaleesi_26 30

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:21

I think it's safe to say he was a creepy one. Lol

Wsparta 26

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:19

could have tried telling him you aren't interested in checking out old junk

funsizedliz 15

Tuesday 31 March 2015 2:45

Haven't you heard it's worth more?

ironmany_fml 23

Tuesday 31 March 2015 21:23

i dont think he'd let OP sell it. lol

EatUrGreens 20

Sunday 3 May 2015 2:03

"Nah, I'm into modern art, sorry" :')

lucyisbae 18

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

@3 Nice job, you're very perceptive.

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:18

There is a reply button for a reason, mate.

19990231 29

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

That pickup line is probably as old as he is.

beaglegal 42

Tuesday 31 March 2015 1:20

Ask him if he wants a knuckle sandwich?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 101

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 786

You deserved it 3 734

Today, the snails have been so prolific that not only have I lost any hope of growing vegetables this year, but they have actually eaten all the flowers off my crocuses, and the broom on the terrace looks like it’s wearing hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 68

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 826

You deserved it 12 642

Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 964

You deserved it 339

Today, my brother refused to bring his kids to a small family get together for my daughter’s birthday, due to his fear of Covid. Later, I saw online that he was at a huge party for his wife’s family, no masks in sight. When I confronted him, he blocked me and won’t return my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 136

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 767

You deserved it 1 980

Same thing different taste

Stalker vibes

Pervy perv walks

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