Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , a grl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me cuz I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life , but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. fat FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Taday after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up mah portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell mah parents, only for mah brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into mah face. I now have a huge gash over mah cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (4028)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on mah left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited 4 me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (14571)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today... mah nieghbor went on vacation... leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason... he calls his dog ( Cat ) an his cat ( Dog ). There r two pet food containers... one labeld ( Cat ) an the other labeld ( Dog ). I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

TODAY, MY CAR WAS BROKEN INTO. WHAT WAS STOLEN? MY DAUGHTER'S $11 ONE DIRECTION POSTER. WHAT WILL IT COST TO FIX MY CAR? $1,000. REAL FML

#20427068
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

2day I Woka Up To Fina Our Christmas Traa Knockad Ovar, Unwrappad Prasants Scattarad Avarywhara, And My Mom Passad Out On Tha Sofa With A Bottla Of Booza. Marry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (2480)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier startd flirting with me an askd me for mah number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After looool walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants r unzippd." mega FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (5228)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I auditioned fir a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain an as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been single and out of the game 4 so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

yesterday ma skydiving instructor casually remarked tat e looool wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to ma back teole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY... I WENT TO BED WITH A BRA ON. I WOKE UP WITH NO BRA ON. MY BROTHER HAD A FRIEND SLEEP OVER LAST NIGHT. I WONDER WHERE MAH BRA WENT. FML

#20434205
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (3856)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I pausd the movie mah grlfriend an I were watching an told her, 4 the frst time, that I lovd her. Her response was to stare at me silently 4 a few seconds before unpausing the film. mega FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (6484)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: