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Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (11657)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (6172)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

#20407692
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (4263)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (5369)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (4410)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (4571)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (4145)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (7687)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (8570)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (14852)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States



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