Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, I ave a very uncomfortable cyst in ma armpit and a spraind ankle bot on ma rigt side, resulting in me limping and keeping ma arm awkwardly plasterd to ma side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying ( Yes, Master )enever I ask im for someting. FML
yesterday at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out an suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Yesterday, mah mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents fir myself an mah sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who r now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. mega FML
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML
Today , I was wrapping present 4 mah daughter , trying to be really quiet. Behind me , the cat decided to climb the tree,hich then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting 4 Christma this year. FML
Friday 27 March 2015