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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (7640)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (4130)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (3293)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (8928)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (5355)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19376) - you deserved it (1658)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (4299)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (5055)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (8566)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (1480)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (4159)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (2169)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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