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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35810) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (4211)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35695) - you deserved it (17877)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35239) - you deserved it (9569)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (6779)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (3589)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (8376)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (9211)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (17331)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (6155)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States



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