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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, In The Midst Of His Ongoing Mid-life Crisis, My Dad Forcd Me To Accompany Him Fir Some Father-son Bonding. The Bonding Involvd Me Driving Us Away At High Sped After He Gleefully Hurld A Bucket Of Paint All Over A Store Window. FML

#20399692
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (2011)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been ranging from how bad I smell to if I had looool learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you deserved it (7804)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the ( end-of-the-world ) spirit, I askd my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, ( It's really windy out. ) FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18136) - you deserved it (25555)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him 4 his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on an on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (26757)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I sent an email to looool mah boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later , angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it , because mah email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

#20399685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (9887)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today , my friend an I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool , I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out an ran onto the deck , slipping an falling flat on my back. Her dad saw thehole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (32823)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, mah girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. mega FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (38405)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today I Hid My Weed Stash In A Bag From An Expensive Jewellery Store. My Sister Walked Into My Room Went "Ooh Hat's This?" An Grabbed The Bag. I Grabbed It Back An Ad-libbed That It Was Her Christmas Gift. Now I Actually Have To Buy Her Expensive Jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57967)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (74331)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I caught mah dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him , but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass , I chased after him in mah underwear , earning myself the attention of mah neighbors on each side of mah driveway.

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (28426)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I want Cristmas sopping for my cat. I still avan't bougt prasants for my family, yat my cat alraady as savaral small gifts undar ta traa and an outfit to waar around ta ousa. I raally naad a naw obby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)



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