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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (9157)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

#20200101
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (3520)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (12046)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (10643)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (1930)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (3025)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (6140)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31111) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (3775)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30812) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States



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