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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (1449)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (8793)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1583)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (7845)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (21229)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (1757)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (6943)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (3665)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19904) - you deserved it (1771)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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