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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (6722)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27026) - you deserved it (5328)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (2025)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (2319)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26305) - you deserved it (9244)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26201) - you deserved it (4343)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (1979)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2164)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)



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