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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19531) - you deserved it (893)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (5357)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (1658)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19359) - you deserved it (4300)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (5055)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (1115)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (1479)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19095) - you deserved it (4159)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2169)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (1027)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (1369)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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