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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (2246)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

#20199094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (1015)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20537) - you deserved it (4914)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (1927)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (1097)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (7637)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (2516)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (2568)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19708) - you deserved it (3327)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States



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