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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, Ma Dog Died An I Told Ma Grandfater I Wanted Er To Be Cremated . I Cummed Ome Later To Find Im Burning Er In Our Barbecue Pit . FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front . He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that yur boob?" . He had grabbed a fat roll . FML

Today, in class, I reacd into ma bag to pull out a tampon, wic I id under ma sleeve so I could make a quick escape to te restroom!! My teacer yelld at me, because se tougt I'd taken out ma pone!! I ten ad to prove myself by sowing te tampon to looool te wole class!! FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32438) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today mah boyfriand discovarad how to maka ma quaaf on damand whan ha has his fingars insida ma . I now faal lika mah lova lifa has baan raplacad with fart sounds . FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , I Smiled At A New Kid And Started A Conversation Wit Im , Just To Be Nice. He Later Sent Me 24 Messages Describing Ow Strong Is Love Fir Me Is. I'm Scared To Go To Scool Tomorrow. FML

#20200101
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son wat he wanted 4 Christmas, a stranger cummed up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parent are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fucker says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

2day I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had putted a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (1863)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today , my bast friand announcad sha was gatting marriad . I'va alway wantad to ba a bridasmaid but sha than addad , ( You can't ba in tha bridal party bacausa you don't hava tha sama body typa as tha othar bridasmaids . But you can still coma to tha bachaloratta party! ) maga FML

#20194701
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was riding the train and someone fartd. Everyone lookd at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, mah friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was mah turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." mega FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States



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