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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (6722)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27029) - you deserved it (5328)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (9245)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (4343)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (1979)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2164)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (2049)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25285) - you deserved it (4796)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (7253)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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