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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (1774)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (1964)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (17152)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (5097)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29544) - you deserved it (4549)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29315) - you deserved it (6683)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (4166)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29158) - you deserved it (4522)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (1657)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28765) - you deserved it (5020)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (9669)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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