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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (1580)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (2801)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1302)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20261) - you deserved it (3574)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (2044)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)



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