Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (3936)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (16176)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (6715)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (5324)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (9238)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (1490)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (1789)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (2163)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: