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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (2614)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (2800)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20261) - you deserved it (3574)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (2410)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (1848)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)



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