Tuesday 4 December 2012 
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Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (3650)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (2280)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12523) - you deserved it (2196)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany
Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12496) - you deserved it (3854)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11045) - you deserved it (35910)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (19021)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (13251)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)
Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (22749)
On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10148)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (24819)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (50204)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6307) - you deserved it (18304)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (13554)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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