Tuesday 4 December 2012 
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Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (1911)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (1294)
On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15581) - you deserved it (1483)
On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States
Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you deserved it (1416)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States
Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (1290)
On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15369) - you deserved it (2265)
On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (1488)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States
Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15164) - you deserved it (1190)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (452)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14877) - you deserved it (936)
On 12/04/2012 at 2:10am - health - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14760) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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