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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19106) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (25329)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (1881)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18464) - you deserved it (5196)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (8632)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (2151)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18145) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (1320)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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