Thursday 29 November 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18340) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (1189)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (1866)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (1709)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17614) - you deserved it (1338)
On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (933)
On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (1255)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (2765)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (3509)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (3158)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (1540)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (1283)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (1903)
On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
