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Tuesday 27 November 2012

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Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

by williebees / 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

by nato / 11/27/2012 at 8:16am / United States / Work

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

by potheadloljk / 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

by hawksbc / 11/28/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

by Awks / 11/30/2012 at 1:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

by time to put you down, gran / 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

by SApprentice / 12/04/2012 at 2:10am / United States (Virginia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

by Likian5 / 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

by Blake Lawrence / 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

by Sam / 12/02/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous