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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24916) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (2997)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (5598)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (3954)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (1813)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (12165)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)



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