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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (3813)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (6405)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (3965)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (8448)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (2518)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (2859)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28481) - you deserved it (1636)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27855) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (2635)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (1656)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (5272)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States



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