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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (6110)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (3679)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (7938)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (2270)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (1907)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (2061)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2706)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)



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