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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28347) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (5910)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (2448)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (3082)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27215) - you deserved it (2533)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2563)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)



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