Saturday 24 November 2012 
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Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (3706)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1709)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17614) - you deserved it (1337)
On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (934)
On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17579) - you deserved it (1255)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17567) - you deserved it (1620)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (2765)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (3509)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17472) - you deserved it (1090)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17428) - you deserved it (1540)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (2193)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17341) - you deserved it (954)
On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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