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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19062) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19046) - you deserved it (25271)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18913) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (4289)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18655) - you deserved it (16249)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (44214)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (6866)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18259) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (1316)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (7151)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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