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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18544) - you deserved it (1335)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18531) - you deserved it (16189)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (1366)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18261) - you deserved it (1653)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18155) - you deserved it (7686)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (2518)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17993) - you deserved it (4180)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML



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