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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (2447)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (1720)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25221) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (3760)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2640)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (6416)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (7286)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (5072)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)



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