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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14188) - you deserved it (967)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14184) - you deserved it (844)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14056) - you deserved it (5649)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13940) - you deserved it (1764)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13852) - you deserved it (11354)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13611) - you deserved it (1940)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13455) - you deserved it (932)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13356) - you deserved it (2464)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

#20183813
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:45am - misc - by pdin222 (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (5266)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (1412)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States



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