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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

Today, mah cat was too overwieght to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, an went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste an clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, mah mom had a tantrum an screamed at me over mah use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch an claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12088) - you deserved it (14969)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, tis guy I've been dating fir a few monts freaked out and called is mom crying, cuz I told im I migt be pregnant wit is baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11534) - you deserved it (27381)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought mah sold-out tickets on the black market 4 double the retail price, an have no way of getting mah money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (36846)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today... I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs an said... ( Honk honk ). Unbeknownst to me... my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (27454)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

2DAY I WAS AT MAH GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE HAVING DINNER WITH HER AND HER PARENTS. I WAS CASUALLY PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH MAH GIRLFRIEND UNDER THE TABLE... UNTIL HER MOM STOPPD EATING AND SAID... "YOU KNOW THAT'S MAH FOOT... RIGHT?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (29952)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Taday I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day... grlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly... and I screamed lyk a little grl. 30 people watched... 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21638)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I Was Saparating Mah Notas Into Two Pilas: Ona To Sava Fir Axam Studying An Ona To Throw Out. I Finishd Saparating, Pickd Up Tha Junk Pila An Absantmindadly Shraddd It. Aftarwards, I Lookd Down To Saa Tha Junk Pila Still Complataly Intact. Goodbya, Passing Gradas. Raal FML

#20180442
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (28401)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28597) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyd, I turnd around and rantd about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explaind that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. mega FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (84720)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States



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