Friday 23 November 2012 
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Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13133) - you deserved it (5272)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13101) - you deserved it (1413)
On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12870) - you deserved it (3354)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML
I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (2217)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (796)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12659) - you deserved it (2753)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12493) - you deserved it (4725)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12245) - you deserved it (15096)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11980) - you deserved it (2877)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (2520)
On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11477) - you deserved it (21469)
On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10704) - you deserved it (2983)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10670) - you deserved it (1392)
On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada
Monday 17 June 2013
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