Friday 23 November 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (1245)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14339) - you deserved it (2481)
On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (891)
On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14234) - you deserved it (846)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (2542)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (37253)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13990) - you deserved it (1767)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (11387)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13899) - you deserved it (3101)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13550) - you deserved it (932)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (2051)
On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (2470)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)
Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13384) - you deserved it (1870)
On 11/29/2012 at 9:45am - misc - by pdin222 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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