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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (1567)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (2029)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

#20184990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (1388)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (8158)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (1542)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (4463)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (4060)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23814) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (1488)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan



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