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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (1435)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (2279)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1503)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (1406)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (6022)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (5497)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21891) - you deserved it (4765)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (2370)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (4072)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)



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