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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (8697)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (1703)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (4291)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (2624)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (3543)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (2595)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (2193)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2633)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3066)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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