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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (2242)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (6622)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (5832)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (4626)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20427) - you deserved it (6584)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (1480)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (3961)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (1342)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML



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