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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (2911)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (1470)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (2361)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (2187)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (1411)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (2240)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (6620)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (4625)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20745) - you deserved it (1945)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (1435)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (3959)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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