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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (1270)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (1350)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (1314)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (1017)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you deserved it (1867)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18182) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (2047)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (3713)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (1719)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (1257)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (2962)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)



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