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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (1970)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (3079)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (5558)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2539)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (2651)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (5086)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2103)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (8476)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (5666)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (2141)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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