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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (7192)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (1854)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (5277)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (7895)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (2699)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22925) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22911) - you deserved it (5507)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (1564)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22558) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (1577)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML

#20161445
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:49am - work - by ConstructionLady (woman) - United States



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