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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat... he also got inside the car an sat next to my date... pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time... an walked me back to the house. My mom laughed an gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, mah "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use mah phone to text mah girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to mah side of the story. fat FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today... mah crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told mah parents to act normal 4 one night. Apparently... "normal" is strutting around naked and acting lyk a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the ( other guy ), he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous an trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (5085)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

today I was visiting family in Oregon . I did not know it was illegal to pump yur own gas; the cops were involved . fat FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (2098)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

today I proposd to my grlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment . She seemd incredibly excitd when she saw the ring an put it on . The way she boltd out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again . FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , I called off my engagement , after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job , and in anticipation of getting married , I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed , so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. real FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (8473)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (5664)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured mah heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (2140)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah girlfriend admittd to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team,hich at first turnd me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (8265)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

yastarday a shoppar approachad ma at Targat an said, ( So r u just gonna stand thara to look pratty an do nothing around hara? ) I ignorad his commant, until ha got so upsat that ha wantad to spaak to mah managar. It would hava baan undarstandabla if I actually workad thara. FML

#20177780
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25612) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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