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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (3185)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (1662)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (1578) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (1396)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (2277)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23090) - you deserved it (1662)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23039) - you deserved it (1611)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (2379)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (3146)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22823) - you deserved it (1438)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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