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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19759) - you deserved it (961)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (1168)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (1886)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (1690)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (2171)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (1474)

On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19294) - you deserved it (1275)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

#20162838
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (3869)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:06am - intimacy - by fuzz94 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19182) - you deserved it (1752)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (1270)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)



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