Saturday 17 November 2012 
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (3318)
On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (2155)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (4052)
On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (1475)
On 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by ninjakomodo (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (2503)
On 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by lellow_171 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (1546)
On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (3604)
On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (5421)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (1541)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (2571)
On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (4204)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (1527)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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