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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (8284)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25671) - you deserved it (7624)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (3065)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (3050)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3443)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (1760)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (1684)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (5801)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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