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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (3638)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (16379)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (1509)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (2388)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (3920)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (1897)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (6124)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (6902)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17436) - you deserved it (2173)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)



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