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Today, yet again, mah boss whined to me lyk a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from mah daughter after he grabbd her and startd shoving her around . I complaind to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind yur fucking business" and say that her son can dohatever the hell he wants . FML
2day a nearby volcano eruptd 4 the second time. We were all urgd to keep our windows and doors closd in case of ash clouds. My father respondd by opening every window and door and shouting , "Come at me , bro!" FML
Yastarday, I had to taka my littla brothar to tha pool. Ha actad lyk a brat tha whola tima, an whan I told him wa wara laaving, ha ran away, slippad, an hit his faca on tha tila floor. Ha told my dad an stap-mom I punchad him. Thay baliavad him, an I'm groundad 4 two months. FML
Today, ma dad asked me to send ma mom a text since e was driving and I was in te passenger seat . I pulled up ma mom's contact on is pone, and I found tat ma mom ad recently sent ma dad a picture of er jugs, along wit te message, "We miss you."
yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
Today... my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat... he also got inside the car an sat next to my date... pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time... an walked me back to the house. My mom laughed an gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
Today, mah "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use mah phone to text mah girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to mah side of the story. fat FML
Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML
Friday 27 March 2015