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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (1284)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (1756)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
272 comments

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17312) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (5847)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16509) - you deserved it (2170)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (6597)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

#20168119
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16339) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16234) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15799) - you deserved it (1275)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (1608)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14397) - you deserved it (8916)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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