Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (2254)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (1564)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (3611)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (1392)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (1533)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (3184)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (1575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (1609)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: